


The Six Steps to Love

by merlins_sister



Series: Logical Boomer [1]
Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-17
Updated: 2011-12-17
Packaged: 2017-10-27 11:00:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/295092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merlins_sister/pseuds/merlins_sister
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Could a Vulcan and a space boomer fall in love?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Six Steps to Love

Breathe

Travis hesitated outside the door. For some reason he felt nervous. He knew he shouldn't be. They had been on the ship together for nearly two years. You would think in all that time he would have learnt not to be nervous around her. But her presence still managed to unsettle him. He found her too hard to read. He could never tell if he had done well when on the bridge or in their martial arts classes, or not. He couldn't tell if she even liked him.

He knew that she respected the Captain. He had been witness to the growth of that mutual relationship, just by watching them on the bridge. She tolerated Commander Tucker, seeming often confused by his changing moods. Malcolm. Well, considering he had made a pass at her whilst being possessed by the wisps, she seemed to still admire him. Travis sensed that there was a bond growing between the doctor and T'Pol. But that would make sense, as the only two aliens on the ship. And he knew she respected Hoshi's skills. She had told the Ensign herself.

But he was uncertain how she saw him.

Still, here he was, at the suggestion of Hoshi, about to ask for some help. She could only turn him down. Taking a deep breath he rang her door chime.

"Who is it?"

The voice was calm and melodic.

"Ensign Mayweather."

"Come in." The answer was quick and clear.

Travis walked into the quarters. T'Pol was in a loose tunic over some flowing silk bottoms. It was a very different look to her normal catsuit. She looked up from placing candles on a shelf, her face its usual composed self.

"What can I do for you, Ensign?"

"I'm sorry," replied Travis, realising what the candles were for. "Have I caught you at a bad time?"

"I have just finished meditating for the evening," replied T'Pol smoothly. "It is quite all right."

"I wondered if you could help me," said Travis, aware that his hands were starting to move as he tried to explain. "Hoshi suggested I come to see you." He took a further deep breath. "Ever since my Dad died I've been having problems sleeping. I've gone to Doctor Phlox a couple of times for some help, but I don't want to keep doing that. Hoshi has found the techniques you taught her really useful, so I was wondering if there is anything you could teach me to help me sleep."

"There are several techniques that can help you in this situation," replied T'Pol. "Are you having problems getting to sleep, or waking up in the night?"

"Mostly getting to sleep. Once I'm asleep I'm usually okay."

T'Pol turned and pulled a robe off a hook. Turning back to the young Ensign she said, "It would be best if we returned to your quarters. If we are successful with the technique I'm about to teach you, you may find yourself quite sleepy. And it would be better if you fell asleep on your bed rather than mine."

For some reason Travis felt himself blush a little at the last comment. "Okay," he managed.

T'Pol pulled the robe tight around her. Slipping some light shoes on, she followed Travis out in to the corridor. As they walked down the corridor, she turned to him and said, "I was sorry to hear about your father."

"Thank you," replied Travis quietly. "Although he was ill, it was still a shock, especially when I didn't get a chance to see him before the end."

"It must have been difficult for you, not getting a chance to say goodbye."

Travis felt a little surprised at the Vulcan's understanding of the situation. All he could reply in turn was, "It was."

The journey to his quarters was covered quickly, the conversation turning to the familiar ground of work. As they walked in Travis was thankful that he had his clear up earlier that day. He turned to face his commanding officer, trying to not look too expectant.

"Would you mind if I adjusted the lighting," T'Pol asked of him.

"Please, do whatever you think is appropriate."

T'Pol nodded. "You do not need candles for this technique," she explained, "But it is best if you are in a room that is calm and quiet."

Satisfied that everything was right she asked, "Where do you normally sit when you are trying to relax?"

"On the bed I suppose," Travis replied. "You know, when I want to read and stuff."

"Then the bed would be the best place for you to do this."

Walking over to the bed, he sat on the edge, leaning forward to take his boots off. T'Pol pulled up a chair in front of him waiting for him to make himself comfortable. Travis pulled himself further back on to the bed so he was sitting up against the wall.

"Close your eyes," T'Pol instructed. "Now take a deep breath and let it out slowly." As a sigh told her he had done so she continued, "Let your thoughts settle. Tell me what images come into your mind."

Travis winced mentally as the repeated image of his father came unbidden into his head. Clearing his throat a little he replied, "My father."

"And what is your father doing in this image?"

"Nothing. Just sitting there, smiling."

Travis started to feel the pain he kept at bay well up inside of him again. This wasn't what he expected to happen when he went to T'Pol. He thought that she would teach his some breathing so he could ignore this, not ask him questions about it.

"Look carefully at this image, Ensign. Focus on it. Breathe with it."

Travis drew in another deep breath as he tried to do as she said. But the pain was getting out of control again. He should be ignoring this image, not looking at it. The only way he'd had any sleep was when he managed to ignore it somehow.

"Ensign, you need to slow your breathing down." T'Pol's voice cut through his thoughts. He couldn't do it. He just wanted to forget.

Flinging his eyes open, he said, "I don't think this is such a good idea, Sub-Commander. I'm sorry for bothering you."

"You have not bothered me, Ensign," she replied calmly. "You just need to give yourself some time to do this."

"I can't, Sub-Commander," he replied quickly, as much to his embarrassment he felt tears start to sting his eyes. Rubbing at them, he continued, "I am so sorry."

"You have nothing to apologise for. It is only natural that in your grieving you might want to still give physical expression to those feelings. And you have to do that somewhere."

Travis nodded, but didn't raise his eyes to look at her, concentrating only on stopping the embarrassing tears there. It had been three months since his father died. He shouldn't be still crying at the slightest thing.

"I have watched you on the bridge since you got back from visiting your family. If I did not know of your loss, I would not have known anything had happened. You have shown great strength and professionalism. I have been impressed."

Travis started to lift his head a little. "You have a quiet, assured manner Ensign. I value that a great deal in a colleague. But in your quarters you can let that go. I will not judge you any differently."

Travis smiled slightly. "Thank you for being so understanding." Hesitating a little, he said thoughtfully, "I understand that Vulcans do have emotions, that they in their own way feel things. But I'll be honest I would not have expected you to understand as well as you have."

"You can not live amongst humans as much as I have without learning something about human emotions and needs. It is also common for many species to avoid painful feelings. But you need to deal with them in order for you to go on with your life in a way that I'm sure your father would have wanted you to."

Travis finally lifted his head up fully. Without meaning to his eyes locked with the Vulcan in front of him. Instead of seeing the usual unreadable commanding officer he saw kindness and compassion emanating from the deepest eyes he'd ever seen. It was true, he thought, at least for a Vulcan. The eyes were truly the path to the soul.

Taking another deep breath to calm himself, Travis nodded in agreement to T'Pol's last comments, unwilling in some ways to break the eye contact between them.

"I will lead you through this technique. It will help you sleep," T'Pol said simply. "But if you would like to, I can teach you some more simpler styles to help at other times."

"That would be good. Thank you Sub-Commander."

"If I am to teach you meditation, you may call me T'Pol when we are off duty."

"Thank you...T'Pol." It felt a little strange. "In which case you must call me Travis."

The science officer inclined her head in agreement.

"Travis, close your eyes," she instructed. "Take a deep breath and allow your mind to settle."

The image of his father flashed into his mind again. He felt his body tense before hearing T'Pol's voice.

"It is all right Travis. I am here. You are completely safe."

Travis felt his hand being lifted, and a slow circle drawn on it by the lightest of fingers. He felt the anxiety start to leak away. T'Pol's voice again.

"Breathe."

Thirty minutes later Travis did not hear her get up from her chair to get a blanket. He did not feel it being laid on him, nor become aware of her quiet farewell of "sleep well." He was lost in a deep and peaceful sleep, dreaming only of his childhood and a pair of kind eyes that took him there.

 

Dance

"This is ridiculous."

The tone was petulant for a Vulcan.

Travis worked hard to control the urge to smile at T'Pol's obvious frustration. There was no point in antagonising her.

"I fail to see the point of me learning to dance," continued T'Pol. "It will not, despite the Captain's claims to the contrary, give me a better understanding of the crew. I can attend the parties without the need to get involved."

"Might make them a bit more fun," suggested Travis.

"For whom?" asked T'Pol, her eyebrow showing how much she understood the humour of the current situation.

Travis let out his grin. "You got me there," he replied.

"If the Captain is so keen for the senior crew to dance, perhaps he should be taking lessons from you."

"Nah," replied Travis. "He'd only want to lead."

T'Pol seemed to compose herself more. "I'm sorry, Travis. I should not be expressing this all to you, when I was the one who asked for help."

"Not a problem," Travis replied with ease. "But I have to ask, do Vulcan's not dance at all?"

"As children we do something similar to some of Earth's countries' folk dancing. After a certain age however, that is no longer allowed."

"Why not?"

T'Pol shifted uncomfortably in front of him. "Dancing in almost all cultures has sexual overtones. As such a private species, physically expressing desires through dance is considered inappropriate."

"Ahh," replied the helmsman. "I get it. But T'Pol I'm not teaching you to do the salsa or tango. I think we can leave those to Trip and Hoshi."

"Yes, they do seem to do enough dancing for the whole of the senior crew. And certainly with enough expression."

"Yeah," replied Travis with a chuckle, "Last time we had a dance night, Malcolm swore what they were doing was only just legal."

"And yet they remain technically 'just good friends'."

"Dancing is a safe way of expressing feelings that have yet to be vocalised or acted on. They're having fun."

Another raised eyebrow sent Travis off into another chuckle. In the year since he had gone to her for help after his father's death he had grown to love T'Pol's sense of humour. Dry, with an undercurrent of irony, he had had to control himself more than once at briefing as barely noticed comments slipped by the other members of the bridge crew. He couldn't believe now that he ever felt uncomfortable in her presence. But that may also have been because she seemed imperceptibly more relaxed in his company as well. He had been caught completely by surprise when a few months in to the meditation sessions she had turned to him and told him how impressed she was with his work. At movie night she seemed to seek him out, seeming more comfortable with him in that situation than any other member of the crew, even the Captain.

Composing himself, Travis continued, "Well if that's what you're worried about, perhaps we should focus on the social etiquette of human dancing, and pick up the steps later on."

When T'Pol hesitated still, he tried, "Think of it as martial arts to music. You have to touch in that. And in some of the meditation lessons you've given me, you've had to touch my hand and stuff. It's no different."

Finally nodding, T'Pol stepped forward and took his hands. Taking quite a formal stance, Travis started to sway them as if to unheard music. "Now this would be the sort of thing you would do if you didn't know the person that well. You keep a bit of distance between you, and you keep your arms quite stiff and formal." At T'Pol's perplexed look, he continued, "You're doing fine. Just follow my lead."

As he felt her relax into it, he continued, "Now if you knew someone better, you would dance closer together, and your arms would be more relaxed. Like this." He shifted their shape slightly so they stood closer together. "See."

"What is the next stage?" T'Pol asked a few moments later.

"Well…" Travis hesitated, uncertain whether it was appropriate for him to show her the next move. "If you were dancing with someone with whom who were particularly fond of, someone you wished to start a romantic relationship with, or if you were already in one with, you would move in real close…" He pulled their bodies tight together, slipping one arm to her waist. He expected her to start but when she didn't he continued his explanation. "Your hands would normally come in closer to the body. And, because the woman is still usually shorter than the man, they would rest their head on his chest or shoulder." He felt the surprise in him rise as she did just that.

"Like this?"

"Uh huh." More hesitancy before he rested his head on hers. "And you would dance slowly like this." They moved their bodies to the still unheard music.

"This is quite meditative," T'Pol said quietly, before turning her head upwards. "Though I thought you said this dance wouldn't have sexual overtones."

"I would say it was more of a romantic dance... I know, " replied Travis to her questioning look. "You say tomayto, I say tomarto."

Wisps of a smile appeared in her eyes. Travis let a more obvious one appear on his face. Shaking his head he said, "Let's go back to the middle position shall we, the one we would probably be in, and try it with some music."

After a few minutes of moving around the floor Travis said with a big smile, "Keep this up and you shall go to the ball Cinderella."

"As long as I'm not required to turn into a pumpkin at the end of it."

"I don't think there is any danger of that," Travis replied, his smile spreading, picking up the speed. No danger at all.

 

Hunger

"No!"

"You have no choice, Sub-Commander."

"I said the answer was no, Doctor."

Phlox sighed. "T'Pol," he said softly. "The meditations are no longer working. You are barely maintaining any control. And although I agreed with your initial concerns about passing on the Pa'nar syndrome via the mating bond, we are beyond that choice now. You must take a mate."

T'Pol fought the images in her mind, desperate to retain some composure so she could talk to the doctor. But all she could see were pictures of dark hands moving about her body, a sensation of heat and hunger that was overwhelming. Fighting her way back to the present in sick bay she continued, "The nearest Vulcan ship or colony is days away, and it is inappropriate for me to take a human mate."

"In some ways a human mate is just what you need. There are no cases at all of the syndrome being passed to a human."

"Probably because none have ever had telepathic contact with a Vulcan."

Another deep breath. More sensations, cravings, desires. "There has to be another way."

"I can not see it," replied Phlox. "T'Pol, the pon farr has made your brain chemistry very erratic. You are going to die if you do not allow yourself to follow through on your body's needs. You must take a mate."

"The meditiations..."

"Would probably work if you were older, if this wasn't your first pon farr. But it is. You must talk to him."

"You speak as if the choice was obvious."

"Isn't it?" Phlox sounded surprised.

"Who do you think I would choose?"

"Ensign Mayweather of course."

At the mention of his name, T'Pol felt the sensation of fingers on her body again, a gnawing hunger deep in her belly.

She shook her head. "He is my friend."

"I know," replied Phlox, his voice sympathetic. "But out of all the men on Enterprise he is the one around whom you relax the most. Your trust of him is obvious and absolute."

"He deserves better than this."

"He deserves to be given the choice," Phlox replied.

"He will do it out of friendship and loyalty."

"And those are bad reasons?" Phlox sighed. "I can see why you would worry about how this would affect your friendship with the Ensign. Human attitudes to sex are complicated at best. But if you were to choose a mate, you could not pick a more understanding or accepting partner. Your friendship would be safe with him."

"I can not destroy our relationship."

"You may enhance it." At T'Pol's look of surprise he continued, "I know not many Vulcans take a mate from outside their own species, but if anyone was to make a success of it, it would be you."

"I can not give him what he needs," she insisted.

"How do you know?"

T'Pol could feel herself weakening. She could feel his fingers on her, his lips. She could smell him close to her.

"It has to be his choice," she finally replied.

"Of course," Phlox stated.

"Could you ask him to come to my quarters? I will explain it to him there."

"I will also talk to Captain Archer." At T'Pol's anxious look, he continued quickly, "I will not go into details. I will merely say you need a companion for the next few days to help you through this. I will be very discreet."

"Few days?"

"This is your first pon farr T'Pol. Anything could happen. I suggest you try to relax and enjoy it."

"Pon farr is not something which we enjoy, Doctor."

"That seems a great shame... all that sexual energy."

At a look of agitation from T'Pol, Phlox quickly changed tack. "I will go and ask the Ensign to come and see you."

"Thank you Doctor."

T'Pol got off the biobed and started walking to her quarters, her hands tracing on her body the images in her mind.

 

Trust

Travis arrived at T'Pol's quarters uncertain what was happening. Phlox had come to his room simply saying that T'Pol had something to ask him, and could he go to her. What had confused him was Phlox's comments that if he didn't hear anything he would presume the answer had been yes, and that he would inform the Captain.

This was all after a week or so of not seeing her. It hadn't been until this that he realised how much of their time had become interlinked. He had missed her, and struggled with not knowing the reason why she couldn't see people. Some illness he presumed, when he realised she was seeing Phlox. Mind you that had only heightened his concerns. One of his closest friends was ill and there was nothing he could do.

He pressed the chime at her door.

"Who is it?" The voice was ragged.

"It's Travis."

"Come in."

Travis walked carefully into her quarters. He looked around in concern at the usually tidy room. Remains of candles lay everywhere, blankets and cushions scattered throughout. The Sub-Commander was standing in the middle of the room, her arms wrapped tightly around herself. She wore only her tank top and loose trousers. The amount of candles around her showed how much she had been meditating, but to Travis, who had developed a good sense about this in the two years they had become close, she looked as if she hadn't meditated for about a week.

"T'Pol?" he questioned.

"What did Phlox tell you?" Her tone was anxious, edgy.

"Nothing. Just that you needed me."

When T'Pol didn't reply he continued, "T'Pol, what's wrong?"

"You know that Vulcans only mate once every seven years." Her opening caught him a little by surprise.

"Yeah," he replied slowly.

"That process is called the pon farr. I am going through that, but I do not have a mate. My telepathic bond with my previous mate was broken when I did not return home to fulfil our marriage. I have tried to meditate my way through it, but it hasn't worked. If I do not fulfil my needs soon I will die from the resulting neuro problems."

Travis heart contracted. T'Pol was dying. His friend was dying.

"What can..." He stopped himself mid sentence. He suddenly realised why she had asked for him. His mind raced with conflicting thoughts and feelings.

"Do you have to conceive?" Before he did anything else, he had to know the answer to that.

T'Pol shook her head. "No. Only mate."

Travis considered her answer. He knew what his answer was to her unspoken request, but felt some relief at not having to face that complication.

He watched her as she fought whatever was going on inside her mind. "I presume you asked me here to be that mate," he said gently.

She couldn't look him in the eye. Lowering her head, she said softly, "I'm sorry."

Travis fought mixed emotions inside him. Compassion at what she was going through, and anger that she would think that she had to apologise at the request.

Stepping forward so that he was right in front of her, he lifted her chin so that he could look her in the eyes. "You do not have to apologise. I am honoured that you trust me enough to ask."

"It isn't just trust," she replied, "Thoughts of you were making meditation difficult before my pon farr set in. I desire you."

Travis looked at the barely contained furnace in her eyes. He too had had passing thoughts of her as other than a friend. But he had dismissed them from his mind as inappropriate. But here she was saying she had experienced similar feelings.

"Would it help any to tell you I have had similar feelings for you?" He moved his hand up to stroke her cheek. Her skin was hot to the touch. "And even if I hadn't, if you thought I would let you die, when all I had to do is make love to a beautiful woman, well then you are mistaken."

"It will change things," she said quietly.

"I know," replied Travis softly. "But we can handle that."

"I will need to initiate a telepathic bond at some point. You may be exposing yourself to Pa'nar syndrome."

"When you've talked about it, you said there was no records of it outside Vulcans."

He looked at her more carefully. She looked so scared and vulnerable. "I'm sure I will be okay," he reassured her. "We will be okay."

He ran his hands down her arms, watching as she closed her eyes with pleasure. Slowly a locked away sense of desire came to the fore in him. He watched her as she started to relax. Running his hands back up her arms, he felt her pleasure start to affect him. It felt like a rush from his arrival to this, but he sensed there was little time to waste.

"Before we start anything," he said quietly, "I ought to ask if there is anything that you particularly like."

She opened her eyes and looked at him. "This is my first pon farr."

"Oh... oh!" replied Travis, his eyes widening a little at the implications of that statement. "And before Vulcans have their first pon farr, you don't..."

"Some who are close to their mate-to-be may engage in some sensual exploration, but that was never the case with me. But I feel a need for certain things... to be touched, caressed..."

Travis nodded. "It's okay, I'm sure we can work it out as we go along."

Hesitantly he leant forward and dropped his lips on to hers. He could sense her desire, feel the heat from her body rushing through him, but she was still holding back. Pulling back up, he looked at her carefully. He could see the fear in her eyes, and he knew instinctively what was worrying her the most. "You can let go T'Pol. Nothing you can do will make me think less of you." He watched her take a deep breath, her eyes clearing a little of the fear, the fires behind them burning it out. He leant forward again. "I'm here, T'Pol. You are completely safe."

As he kissed her, he pulled her body in tight against his. He felt her relax, a slow moan indicating that she was finally giving in to her needs. As he started to lose himself in their mutual exploration he couldn't shake the thought that he should have done this a long time ago.

***

 

Travis stretched his shoulder a little. And his back. He didn't think there was a part of his body that didn't ache. T'Pol hadn't warned him that it would get so physical. But then, he reminded himself, she probably wasn't completely aware of that fact either. It hadn't really mattered once she had established the mating bond. At the rush of desire and want that came with it he had lost all sense of the rest of the universe. He had wanted her at a level he had never experienced before. It had been amazing.

They had shared nearly a day of riding the peaks and troughs of pleasure and desire. T'Pol was finally sleeping, though her temperature warned Travis that it probably wasn't over yet. But he had decided he needed to refuel and had headed off to the mess, thankful that it was late in the evening. Browsing the dispensers he didn't hear the Captain come up behind him.

"How's it going, Travis?"

Startled, Travis nearly dropped the orange juice he had picked up.

"Sorry," smiled Archer. "Didn't mean to surprise you."

"That's okay, sir," replied the helmsman. "I was a million miles away."

"How's T'Pol doing?"

Travis hesitated. He wasn't sure how much the Captain knew, and he was certainly not about to tell him all the details. "She's a lot better," he said finally. "She's sleeping, and her temperature is dropping. I can't be sure but I think she's out of the woods."

"Good," replied Archer, nodding his head in understanding. "When Phlox came and told me that you would be acting as her companion for the next few days due to potential loss of emotional control, I was a little worried. For T'Pol of course, but also for you. We... um... we have had reports of some loud crashes coming from her quarters, and I see you have a lovely bruise coming up on the side of your face there. You are all right, aren't you?"

Travis reached up and touched the bruised area. He was pretty sure that was from where T'Pol had initiated the bond. But it could also have been from when they had fallen out of bed. Or crashed into the wall. He couldn't really remember.

With a slight smile he replied to his commanding officer, "I'm fine. Let's just say that when Vulcans lose control, they lose control. But it's nothing that I can't handle."

"Good," replied the Captain. Reaching into the dispenser in front of him he pulled out another glass of orange juice. "Take care of yourself, Ensign," he continued as he started to leave. "And try to get some sleep. You look worn out." He clapped the younger man on the shoulder.

"Yes sir," replied Travis, his teeth gritted slightly at the pain the Captain had just sent down his arm.

Travis turned back to the dispensers. As soon as this was all over he was going to Phlox and staying there for a week. But then his heart sank a little. Part of him didn't want this to be over. He knew they had made no promises to each other before he had leapt in to this, other than to stay friends. He had no right to expect anything more once T'Pol was back to normal. And he couldn't honestly say he was in love when it could just have been his hormones taking over. But the thought of never touching her again, of never having her body next to his again. He didn't like that at all.

Travis shook his head and tried to concentrate on the food in front of him. He tried to consider the labels but instead felt a fuzziness in his head. He shook his head to try and clear it. Trying again, he realised the fuzziness was extending through his body. Understanding swept through him as the fuzziness changed to a tingling sense of arousal. T'Pol was waking up, he knew it. Pulling some sandwiches out of the dispenser, he added them to two glasses of juice on a tray and some cutlery before heading back to her quarters.

Arriving he realised he hadn't found out the code for the door. Pressing the chime he was relieved to be let in straight away. T'Pol stood in the middle of the room, the sheet wrapped around her.

"You weren't here," she said simply, moving over to him.

"I went to get some food," Travis explained, putting the tray down. "It's only sandwiches, but we need to keep our strength up."

He watched as she walked delicately up to him, until their bodies were touching again. Travis felt his body jolt with the contact. It wasn't as intense as when they had first formed the bond, but it was definitely having an affect. He watched as T'Pol downed a glass of orange juice in front of him, fascinated by her throat sending the liquid down. Leaning forward, all thought of food gone, he started to kiss her down the neck. She nuzzled her head in closer to his.

"I missed you," she whispered.

"I missed you too," he replied before taking his kisses to where the sheet once was.

***

T'Pol opened her eyes slowly. Her body ached, but her head felt clear, calm. What had been happening? Images of a body intertwined with hers came into her mind, pleasure and desire mixing as one.

The pon farr. It was gone but...

Travis. More pictures in her mind. Sensations of lips on her skin.

She took a deep breath to slow her thoughts.

Looking down, she saw a dark arm stretched across her belly. She ran her fingers up it before turning to look at the man sleeping next to her. He was still here. Her sweet, gentle friend. She looked at the bruise on his cheek. Although the images in her head were still muddled she was certain that she had given him that bruise. She reached out and touched it gently, her heart contracting slightly at the thought of hurting him.

She pulled her hand away as she tried to exert her logic over the situation. It was not necessary for her to be lying here, contemplating such things. It would be more appropriate for her to get up and get dressed so she was ready for him when he awoke.

But he looked so peaceful. Just as he had that first night she had gone to his quarters. When he had reached out to her that night, she had a sense of the start of a friendship that would be important to her. She never realised it would lead here. And now she was not sure if she was ashamed or happy about what had happened in the last few days.

Still, it would be illogical to wake him now when he was sleeping so well. The exertions of the past few days would have exhausted a Vulcan, never mind a human. She could stay for a little longer and watch over him. He deserved that at least.

 

Acceptance

"Doctor."

"Just a moment Sub-Commander. My bat seems to have got his wing caught up."

Rustles and squeaks emanated from the corner of sick bay.

"There, that's better."

Phlox turned to T'Pol, a smile fixed on his face.

"What can I do for you?"

T'Pol hesitated before stating, "I do not believe that I have completely cleared the pon farr. I am still having....feelings of desire..need.."

"In general, or just for Ensign Mayweather?" asked the physician, picking up a scanner.

T'Pol shifted a little. "Just for the Ensign."

Phlox moved the scanner slowly up and down the Vulcan.

"It all seems normal, Sub-Commander."

"It can not be," replied T'Pol, slightly more sharply than she intended. "It is unheard of for these feelings to continue a day after the mating, never mind a month."

"But to our knowledge no-one else on your world has taken a human mate before," replied Phlox, "And I would say you are not the most straightforward Vulcan around."

"They must stop," T'Pol continued. "They are disturbing my ability to meditate, to concentrate."

"You know if you were human, I would say you were in love," smiled Phlox.

"But I am not human, so I can not be," replied T'Pol tersely.

"Feelings are complex things, Sub-Commander. Especially for your species." He sighed. "Perhaps you should be doing as the Ensign wishes, and talking to him about this."

T'Pol looked at him carefully. "You obviously heard about the incident in the mess hall. It was an inappropriate place for him to start the conversation."

"I get the impression he has tried to talk several times to you about what has happened. Though I have to admit his parting comment was uncalled for."

T'Pol bowed her head. "He is angry with me, frustrated."

"Only because you won't talk to him, Sub-Commander."

"There is nothing that can come of it."

"Apart from saving your friendship. And maybe making a success of something more."

"It will not work."

"How do you know?"

"It just won't," T'Pol insisted stubbornly.

Phlox sighed again before thoughtfully continuing, "I see that pecan pie has become a great favourite with you."

T'Pol looked puzzled at the seeming change in conversation. "Yes. Commander Tucker persuaded me to try it early on in the voyage. I have come to appreciate it a great deal."

"Yet most Vulcans have never tried it, or developed a liking for it. Just because you do, it doesn't make it wrong."

T'Pol raised an eyebrow. "Pie and relationships are very different things."

"The principle is still the same. Just because you enjoy a different form of relationship to what is normally required of a Vulcan, does not make it wrong."

When T'Pol didn't respond, Phlox continued, "Think carefully about what you want T'Pol. And then talk to the Ensign. I know you can sort it out."

T'Pol nodded finally and slowly walked out of sick bay.

Turning back to his animals he said, "You know my dears, for someone so intelligent our resident Vulcan is rather dim sometimes." The chirrups he received in reply seemed to agree with him

***

Travis hesitated as he got to Hoshi's door. He took his promise not to talk to anyone of the real nature of T'Pol's loss of control seriously. But he had got to the stage where he really needed to talk. It was either that or he was going to lose his temper again and he was already ashamed of what he had said to her.

"Come in," came a voice at the chime.

"Hey, Commander," said Travis as he walked in. "I was looking for Hoshi."

"Captain's called her up to the bridge," replied Trip. "Some problem with the UT. She'll be back soon."

Travis looked around the room, seeing how the couple had become so much part of each others lives.

"You want a beer?" Trip asked waving a bottle at him.

"Um, actually, I was just coming to talk to Hoshi. I can call back later."

"Is this about you and T'Pol?"

The question caught him by surprise.

"It was kinda hard to miss the floor show," Trip continued by way of explanation.

Travis shook his head in embarrassment. "I can not believe I said it."

"You did look mightily pissed off. But you do know getting angry with a Vulcan never works. They just get real stubborn instead."

Travis sighed. "Tell me about it."

"You want to talk?"

At Travis' look of hesitation, Trip continued, "I know I have a reputation for running my mouth off, but I'm also a good listener."

Travis considered it. He needed to talk, and maybe getting a male point of view would help.

Taking a seat next to Trip at the table, he took the proffered beer and started, "What I'm about to say you can't repeat to no one. Not the Captain. Not Hoshi."

"You have my word," Trip replied simply.

"Trip, you know a month or so ago I spent a few days with T'Pol whilst she was ill."

"Yeah."

"She wasn't ill as such. I mean her life was in danger but not through an illness. She was going through the Vulcan mating time. They call it pon farr. She needed a mate or she would die."

"Ah..." replied Trip, looking carefully at the young helmsman. "And I take it you stepped into the breach, so to speak."

Travis nodded.

"Well, that explains a lot."

"I promised her we could remain friends, but I don't know.... She won't talk to me about it. She won't come near me. Ever since then I've been questioning my own feelings for her. I think I might be in love, but......." Travis sighed. "I just miss her."

"What do you miss about her?"

"The way she makes me laugh, talking..." Travis replied, glancing up as he continued "The way she smells, the way she feels."

"Sounds like you've got it bad."

Travis shook his head. "I have tried so hard to be a good friend, to be different to other men in their reaction to her. How can I turn around now and say I'm as bad as the rest?"

"I don't think that'll be how she'll see it," replied Trip. "You have been a good friend to her, above and beyond the call of duty by the sounds of it. Why should she think badly of you now that you want to take it to another level?"

"Another level which involves more than sharing the same sense of humour. I'm not sure I can be in a relationship with someone who only mates once every seven years. I don't think I'd survive that long."

"Is there no middle point?"

"She did mention some Vulcans do some 'sensual exploration'."

"Well, that sounds like a start."

As he watched the younger man shake his head again, Trip continued, "Travis, if something more is going to happen between you and T'Pol you are going to have to accept it is going to be very different to everyone else, for both of you. And she is probably just as scared as you are."

Travis sighed. "I know, I know."

Trip smiled as he went on. "As you kept telling me for six months before Hoshi and I got together, you need to talk to her, tell her exactly how you feel. You were absolutely right then. And I'm right to tell you that now. You've got to keep trying. But remember what she's trying to cope with as well. Show her that you're still that person she trusted a month ago. You'll be fine."

"You sound very confident in this."

"I know when people are meant to be together."

"Took you long enough to work that out for you and Hoshi."

"Ha, ha. Go and talk to T'Pol."

Travis nodded. "Thanks Commander. I think I will."

***

Travis was struck by a sense of deja vu as he walked into T'Pol's quarters. He found her putting her candles away, her loose tunic hanging over her silk trousers. Wasn't this where it had all started?

"Ensign," she said turning to him.

"T'Pol," he replied pointedly, before chiding himself for that. She didn't need that.

"I'm sorry," he went on. "That was uncalled for."

"As was my opening to you,"she replied simply.

"I've come to apologise for what I said in the mess hall. It was completely out of line. No one could ever consider you a coward."

"You did at that moment."

Travis bowed his head a little. "I was angry, frustrated. I needed to talk to you, but you wouldn't listen. But I, of all people on this ship, know how much you cope with every day. And knowing that I could not possibly call you a coward." When she didn't say anything he continued, "I wanted to talk about what happened when you went through your pon farr, about the promise I made to you about us staying friends. I wanted you to know that I meant it."

He watched T'Pol carefully for some sign of what she was thinking, but nothing was getting through. Taking a deep breath he ploughed on. "I really miss you T'Pol. I really want our friendship back."

She moved closer. "I'm sorry, Travis. But I do not."

Travis felt like his world had just collapsed around him. He'd tried to do what was right when he came in here and not bombard her with professions of love. Did she really hate him that much?

"T'Pol..." He felt his voice stick in his throat.

"I do not want our friendship back," interrupted T'Pol, "Because I want something more."

Travis felt his emotions do a u-turn and come flying back at him. Was she saying what he thought she was saying?

"I am sorry for not talking to you about this sooner," she continued calmly. "But this last month has been an uncomfortable and uncertain one for me. I have had to look at my beliefs and upbringing very carefully, and I have tried to balance them with the needs and desires that my pon farr brought to a head. I believe that I told you at the time that I had started to develop desire for you before the pon farr arrived. Afterwards I tried to dismiss it as part of the experience, but it has become clear to me that it is not. I wish to develop a romantic relationship with you, if you will have me."

Travis was still in shock. He had been convinced he would have to slowly court her over the next few months. He had no idea she was already a step ahead of him.

"You want something more with me?" Travis finally managed.

"I believe that is what I said," replied T'Pol carefully, before anxiety started to flash through her eyes. "Have I misread your interest?"

"No... no..." Travis tried to pull himself together. "I just wasn't expecting you to be so up front about it."

"I believe honesty is the best policy in these situations."

"Usually a good place to start." Travis smiled. "You just caught me off guard a little. I had only just accepted the change in my feelings for you, and wasn't sure if you were ready to do the same. Like you the pon farr just confirmed what I had been feeling for you before then. But I didn't want you to think that I was just another guy who had the hots for you."

"You could never be that," she replied gently. "You have been a good friend. But I hope we can be even better mates."

"So do I," Travis replied, his eyes starting to shine as the full implications of their discussion hit home. Stepping closer to T'Pol he said, "May I kiss you now?"

"I believe it is traditional in these situations, so I would be offended if you did not," T'Pol replied, her eyes flashing mischief and happiness.

Almost unable to take the smile off his face Travis leant forward and kissed her. He kept it gentle, wanting to savour the moment for as long as he could. As he pulled back, he let his hands slip into hers.

"You do realise that you are going to add at least ten minutes to my meditation practice," she said softly. "You are very distracting."

"As are you," he replied, lowering his lips for another kiss, his whole body thrilling at the contact.

As the kiss ended T'Pol looked up at him. "I will need to take it slowly," she said quietly. "This is all very new to me. I have had no training to deal with this sort of relationship."

"It's new for me as well, T'Pol," replied Travis. He slowly brushed his hand down her cheek. "We will take it as slowly as you need to. Just talk to me. I need to know what is going on."

T'Pol nodded before leaning forward and kissing him deeply. Travis pulled her closer to him, slipping his hands around her waist. There was none of the intensity of the pon farr, but somehow it felt perfect.

As they broke the kiss, he sighed before commenting. "You are so beautiful. I don't know how I didn't fall in love with you before."

"You were too busy being my friend," replied T'Pol simply. "Thank you."

As T'Pol leant forward to kiss him again, Travis managed a contented "You're welcome" before he forgot about everything else around him.

 

Love

Malcolm surveyed the party with satisfaction. It was going well, even if he did say so himself. He knew he'd been right to take over the organisation of the social events. They just needed a more ordered mind.

His eyes fell on the two couples in the senior staff. Trip and Hoshi sat with their bodies almost intertwined, a constant flow of touches and caresses running between them, as if to make up for the professionalism they showed whilst on duty. Tactile to say the least, it was in sharp contrast to T'Pol and Travis who sat calmly next to them. To an outsider it would not be obvious that they were more than friends. But Malcolm could tell. They exuded a contentment that only people in love did. And the way they sat closely together, yet barely touching, showed all the signs of a bond between the two. Malcolm, it seemed, had been one of the few people who had not been surprised by the change in their relationship. He had always known Travis' calm and accepting nature would be attractive to T'Pol, just as her curiosity and humour would have been to Travis. Comments had been made by some members of the crew, but fortunately in front of Trip and Hoshi, who had been quick to point out the errors in expressing such views.

A loud laugh went up from Travis and Hoshi. Judging by the indignant look on Trip's face, he had just fallen prey to T'Pol's sense of humour again. He really did walk into it sometimes.

Malcolm smiled. It was good to see them so happy.

A change in the music allowed for Hoshi to escape questions about her loyalty. Malcolm watched as she tugged at Trip's hand excitedly as one of their favourite songs came on. Trip, distracted from his indignation by his love's excitement, twirled her on to the dance floor. They were soon moving comfortably to the music, the odd kiss cementing the partnership. Malcolm turned back to Travis and T'Pol. To his surprise T'Pol was on her feet, extending her hand towards Travis. He seemed just as surprised as Malcolm at the turn of events. Malcolm knew he had happily adopted Vulcan guidance on physical contact in public; anything to make T'Pol feel comfortable. T'Pol had obviously decided to pay the compliment back. For some reason Malcolm found it all very touching.

As Travis took her hand, T'Pol led him on to the dance floor. The couple slowly moved in together, Travis carefully wrapping one arm around her waist, the other bringing her hand close into his chest. T'Pol let her head rest on his chest, her eyes closing as he brought his head down to rest on hers. They swayed gently to the music, seeming oblivious to the looks of surprise from other crewmembers.

"Good party, Malcolm," said a voice behind him.

Distracted from the scene in front of him, Malcolm turned to face Captain Archer. "Thank you, sir. I tried my best."

"You did well," replied Archer, a smile on his face. "I mean, you've even got T'Pol and Travis dancing."

Malcolm returned the smile, before returning to watching the lovebirds on the dance floor.

Archer moved next to the armoury officer. "I have to say Malcolm, when T'Pol came to me to ask for dispensation from the fraternisation rule for her and Travis I nearly fell over."

Malcolm chuckled in reply.

"Not that there was any problem with it. I couldn't exactly do that for Trip and Hoshi and then not them. I just hadn't seen it coming, that's all. I suppose it all came to a head when she was so ill. Possibly dying, or losing someone, is a good way to clarify your feelings. I'm just glad they decided to follow through on them."

"I think we all are, sir," replied Malcolm carefully. Another more mischievous thought occurred to him. "Whilst we are on the subject though, sir, I have to ask..." Malcolm turned to look at his commanding officer. "Do all positions of Commander on this ship come with their own cute Ensign?"

Archer laughed. Clapping him on the shoulder he replied, "When it's your turn Lieutenant, I'll see what I can do."

"I'll be most obliged," replied Malcolm, with a smile.

Anything to be as happy as they are, he thought, anything.

 

FIN


End file.
